Two Wastelanders and A Pony
by TheRepublicanBrony
Summary: In order to prove a point to Celestia, Twilight kidnaps the Courier and The Lone Wanderer and brings them to Equestria. But things don't turn out like she hoped. How will these two hardened warriors react to the ponies and each other? Fallout 3/New Vegas/My Little Pony crossover (foul language, alchohol and drug referances, and violence) Please read and review.
1. The Wanderer

It was early Sunday morning when Zachary Morris, known better to those who listened to G.N.R as 'The Lone Wanderer', prepared to attend service at Saint Monica's Church in Rivet City. He made it a habit to attend every Sunday that he was in the area ever since he had made the decision to move out of his place in Megaton and take up residence in his father's old room in 'Project Purity'. Service today, however, was going to be a bit different than usual. After service, the week before, Zachary had gotten into a conversation with Father Clifford and somehow they had gotten around to the subject of what life had been like in Vault 101.

Zachary had mentioned that he had been selected to be trained as the new vault chaplain after taking the G.O.A.T. and Father Clifford had immediately insisted that he speak at the next service. After all, what better way to bring the people of the wasteland to God than to show them that their hero was a man of God as well? Zachary had been aprehensive at first, thinking about the fact that he had only realy had three years of training and in the years since his departure from the vault he had spent more time fighting than preaching.

In preperation for the service, he had polished his winterized T-51b power armor and cleaned all of his weapons. At first he had thought about dressing up nice and proper, but that wasn't him. He was a man of God but he was also a warrior and if he was going to share God's word with his fellow wastelanders then he would have to be honest. And that meant being himself, weapons and all. He donned his armor and made sure all of his weapons were in place.

There was a Gauss rifle strapped across his back, and he wore a special electrical sword, that had once belonged to a pre-war Chinese general named Jingwei, on his left hip along with a old trench knife. All of this gear had come from an old military storage facility that he had helped the 'Outcasts' break into. Besides these, all he had was a laser pistol on his right hip. These few weapons were all he needed, and he had plenty of ammo in his pack.

Zachary exited his room, whistling to the dog laying on his bed to follow as he did so.

"Come on, Dogmeat!" Zachary didn't go anywhere without his trusty canine companion. Dogmeat had saved Zachary's life more times than he could count. Together they made their way through 'Project Purity' to the surface, Zachary giving brief greetings to several 'Brotherhood of Steel' paladins and scribes as he passed them by in the facility. Out on the surface it was a nice, clear, morning. Zachary took a deep breath and let it out slowly. It felt good to be alive.

The Enclave was gone, he had driven off all the major slavers and raiders in the area, and the super mutants were slowly being pushed out of D.C.. For once in his life, Zachary felt truly at peace and life felt good. He and Dogmeat began their short march towards Rivet City and nothing exciting happened at first. The nearby super mutant camp had been cleared out and some scavengers had taken up residence there so they didn't need to worry about them.

No, what worried Zachary was that, half way to Rivet City, there was a blinding flash of light akin to that produced by a mini-nuke just ten feet ahead of them. The main difference between this and a mini-nuke going off was the lack of explosive force and the noticable silence from his Pip-Boy's gieger counter. When the light dimmed and his vision returned, standing there before Zachary was something right out of one of his Grognak comic books. It was a purple unicorn standing about four feet tall with oddly human facial features.

"Gaah!" shouted, just a bit startled. He readied his Gauss rifle and shouted "What in God's holy name are you?!... And why are you so fucking adorable?!" Dogmeat took an agressive stance and growled. Zachary was startled again when it actualy replied in a very femenine voice.

"My name is Twilight Sparkle, and I am a unicorn. Are you Zachary Morris, A.K.A 'The Lone Wanderer'?"

"You can talk!"

"Yes, I can." the unicorn stated with an irritated sigh "I repeat, are you Zachary Morris, A.K.A. 'The Lone Wanderer'"

"Well, yes. But wha-"

"Then I must ask you to come with me. The land of Equestria needs you." Her horn was encased in a purple aura and a few seconds later they all vanished in a flash of purple light. A single scavenger nearby, the only witness to the event, convinced himself that he was halucinating and forever swore off using jet.

When Twilight arrived back at the basement of her library with her two 'guests' in another flash of light. The human called Zachary stopped to rub his eyes a moment before his vision cleared again. He immediately pointed his weapon at Twilight again.

"What the hell is this?!" he shouted "Where the hell are we?! What do you want with me? I am not being probed again! First aliens and now unicorns. I am not being probed!" Dogmeat stood next to Zachary, barking viciously and waiting for the signal to attack.

"Sir, I'm going to have to ask you to calm down." Twilight replied calmly "I can explain everything if you could just-"

"Calm down?!" Zachary interupted "I will not calm down! I was going to have a nice, normal day and then I get kidnapped by a talking unicorn!" Zachary continued his rant for a few seconds before Twilight sighed and her horn began to glow.

"Hey, what are you-!" Before Zachary could finish that thought, he and Dogmeat fell to the floor with a thud. Twilight looked down at the two figures and let out another sigh. She had been hoping that the human's experience with the unexpected would allow him to remain calm, but obviously that was not the case. Twilight prepared to make another jump into the human's world and, as she did, she thought about hiding Zachary's weapons, but she was in a hurry. She had to complete her task, and with the sleeping spell she used, she sould be back long before he had a chance to wake up and cause trouble. She dissapeared in yet another flash of light.


	2. The Courier

When Twilight Sparkle arrived at her destination in a flash of light she was a bit confused. She was out in the open desert with nopony around.

"What the hay?!" she exclaimed "That spell was supposed to take me to the 'Courier'! Not the middle of the desert! Where in the hoof is-" She was interupted by a low growl. She slowly turned around to face the source of the noise. Standing before her was a large, bipedal, monster with two horns, huge teeth, and even bigger claws. It roared right in her stunned face and she did the only thing she could think of. She screamed.

Darren Ross, more commonly known to the peoples of the Mojave as 'Courier 6', leader of the newly formed I.R.N.L.V. (Independant Republic of New Las Vegas), was sitting on a rock and enjoying a cup of freshly brewed coffee, next to a camp fire. Now, normaly, he might be back at the Lucky 38 keeping order in the city, or out on a diplomatic mission to one of the various tribes and factions in the New Vegas area, but today he was relaxing. Building an idependant nation, establishing allies, and destroying the remnants of rival empires (namely the Legion) was hard work, and he felt that he deserved a day off. A day off doing what? His favorite pass time, hunting, of course. Hunting what? Oh, just raiders, deathclaws, cazadores, and pretty much anything else that could cause harm to him or the citizens of New Vegas. Of course, since he was a terrible tracker, most of his hunting consisted of finding a very high perch, on a cliff or in an abandoned ruin, and using the scope on his Anti-Materiel rifle to scan the horizon for his prey. It was at one of these spots that he sat now. His little camp fire rested near the edge of a small cliff.

The Courier had no particular idea where, exactly, he was at the moment. When he had decided to go hunting he had just picked a direction and started walking. He figured that he could just use his Pip-Boy's GPS to find his way back to the city. At the moment he was taking a break from his surveilance of the wasteland below. He had his coffee, he had the music on his Pip-Boy, and he was happy. Darren finished the last sip of his coffee and let out a contented sigh. He got up and stretched and then checked his weapons.

On one hip he wore a katana, perchased at 'Mick and Ralph's', and on the other he wore 'Maria', the 9mm pistol that he had taken from Benny on the day that he had killed him for putting two bullets through Darren's skull. Propped up against a rock next to him sat his favorite Anti-Materiel rifle. It had been fully upgraded and he always carried plenty of ammo of every variety for it. Along with these, he also had about two dozen throwing knives stashed on his person, some hidden some not. When he was done checking his weapons he dusted of his clothes, a white shirt with a bullet proof vest over it, blue jeans, and boots. The outfit was a gift from Joshuah Graham, the Burned Man. Upon his head he wore an old First Recon beret that had been a gift from an old friend named Boone.

Darren picked up his rifle and went back to his perch on the edge of the cliff. There he resumed his long vigil of the wasteland below. He remained there, patiently, for several hours without moving from that spot. While he sat there he noted that the radio on his Pip-Boy had started playing 'Big Iron' and he started to sing along with it. Darren was never sure why, but ever since he had recieved the damn thing from Doc Mitchell he was unable to function without the device playing some kind of background music or at least making noise.

"To the town of Agua Fria rode a stranger one fine day..." He spotted several Cazadores buzzing around in the distance and with a steady aim he pulled the trigger. One Cazadore was blown in half.

"Hardly spoke to folks around him. Didn't have too much to say..." Another Cazadore fell dead. This one with a hole right through one eye.

"No one dared to ask his buisness, no one dared to make a slip, for the stranger there among them had a big iron on hi-"

"AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!" His thoughts and his singing were interupted by the sounds of femenine screaming out in the distance. He swung his Anti-Materiel rifle in the direction of the scream and looked through the scope to find the scource. The first thing he noticed was the rather large deathclaw running across the sand. The second thing he noticed was the thing it was chasing... What the fuck was it?! It appeared to be some kind of animal. It ran on four hooved legs, like a brahmin or a big horner, it only stood about four feet tall and had a single short horn on its head. The strangest thing about it to Darren's mind was it's coloring. It was bright purple like a nightkin with a pink streak through what appeared to be a mane.

At first Darren thought it was just some kind of strange mutated wasteland animal. Another escaped result of the experiments at Big Mt.? But then it began to shout. It wasn't just screaming any more. It was saying something! He couldn't quite make out what it was at this distance but he could bet it was something along the lines of 'Help! There's a fucking Deathclaw after me!' The creature was speaking... Speaking implied some kind of sentience... There was a sentient creature in need of aid... Without taking his eyes off of the deathclaw and the mystery creature, he switched the ammo clip in his AMR for one filled with explosive rounds. No taking chances with deathclaws.

He took aim at the deathclaw's upper body. He took a deep breath and slowly squeezed the trigger. The Deathclaw's upper body exploded, creating one bloody mess. The mystery creature that it had been chasing was splattered with gore and briefly stopped when it realized that it was no longer being chased. It took note of what was left of the deathclaw, examined the blood and gore now covering it, and then proceeded to scream some more and run in a random direction. Unfortunately the direction it picked was the area where the Cazadores that Darren had been firing upon were currently buzzing around looking for something to take their rage out on.

"Fuck." Darren said. He proceeded to take out as many cazadores as he could before they reached the frightened creature but he could only do so much without risking hurting the creature. The remaining three Cazadores began to converge on the frightened thing and Darren did the only thing he could think of. He fired off an explosive round so that it struck the ground to the right of the creature and it turned away from the explosion and began running in Darren's direction. Now that it was running towards him, still a little ahead of the cazadores, he dropped the AMR and began to quickly scale down the cliff face, jumping from ledge to ledge until he reached the ground. There he drew 'Maria' and began running toward the creature and the cazadores.

He drew close to them just in time to watch as the first of the Cazadores finally reached the creature and stung it in the rear. The creature went down and Darren emptied a clip of 9mm hollow points into the offending Cazadore. He reloaded just in time to be boweled over by a second Cazadore, this one smaller than the second. On his back he tried to use one arm to hold the Cazadore just far enough away from him to keep it from stinging him. He put his gun to it's head and fired. Pieces of it's head flew everywhere and Darren's face was covered in gore. He shoved the body off of himself and drew his katana with his free hand. The third and final Cazadore charged him with it's stinger held out before it. Darren lept to the side, slicing off the Cazadores stinger as he did. When it went rushing by him he fired several rounds from his pistol into it's back killing it.

Darren spun around a few times, looking this way and that, searching for any more threats. When he was sure that the danger had passed he looked over at the mystery creature. It was laying on the ground, and it wasn't moving. He put away his weapons and went over to the creature. Upon closer examination of the creature he found that it was unconcious but alive. Whatever it was, it seemed to be more succeptible to Cazadore venom than some creatures if it was knocked out so quickly.

He took this as an opportunity to get a better look at the creature. It was obviously female judging by the general shape and facial features. But other than that he had no clue what it was. Now, Darren had always considered himself a man of science. So when faced with something unexplained and interesting, without any proper lab equipment and no way to properly comunicate with the creature in it's unconcious state, he did what any proper man of science would do in his situation. He poked it with a stick.


	3. Waking Up

After a few minutes spent poking the creature with a stick failed to illicit some kind of reaction from it, Darren decided that it would be best to take it back to his camp. He picked the creature up and, with no real attempt at being gentle, slung it over his shoulder. He walked back to the base of the cliff he had been perched upon and looked up.

"How the hell did I survive jumping down that?" From what he could tell, there was no way he was going back up the way he came. He looked to his right and then to his left. The cliff face seemed to stretch for miles in either direction. He hung his head with a sigh.

"I'm going to have to walk all the way around to get back to camp, aren't I?" he said to the unconscious creature. Darren decided to go left, and began the journey to find a way around the cliff face to get back to his camp.

Twilight Sparkle was sitting in the middle of a forest enjoying a cup of tea. Sitting across her table from her was the monster that had been chasing her. Upon its head was a top hat and in one claw it held a glass of wine.

"I'm so dreadfully glad that we cleared up that misunderstanding, Miss Sparkle" it said with a heavy Canterlot accent.

"Me to" she replied "I can't believe that I thought that you were going to eat me!"

"Oh, that would have been most dreadful!" the monster continued "I find it ever so amusing tha-... Oh dear."

"What is it?" Twilight asked.

"I do believe you're waking up" With that the monster's upper body exploded. Twilight screamed.

Twilight woke up screaming and flailing. Or, at least, she was attempting to flail. She felt something soft slightly constricting her panicked movements which caused her to panic even further. Memories of what had happened flooded back to her. She continued to scream and flail until she felt two strong hands grab her shoulders and heard a soft, yet gravelly voice speaking to her in a reassuring tone.

"Hey. Hey, calm down. Its ok, you're safe now. Nothing's going to hurt you." She stopped flailing and the hands released her. She looked up and into the face of the one who had spoken. It was a human with short, blonde hair, dark blue eyes and a neatly trimmed beard that was slightly darker than the hair atop his head. He was wearing a red beret. The first words out of Twilight's mouth were, "Monster! Blood! Giant bugs!"

"Sshhh. It's alright" the human said "They're all gone. You're ok." Twilight calmed down just a bit and took note of her surroundings with eyes still wide from fright and a terrified look on her face. The thing that had been restricting her movements was a blanket. She and the human appeared to be seated next to a campfire, and off to the right, a little ways, there appeared to be the edge of a cliff. The sun was high in the sky. Far higher than it had been when she had first arrived in the desert.

"How long was I out?!" she asked the human, eyes wide and voice shaking.

"About three to four hours" he said calmly "I was kind of surpris-"

"Four hours!" Twilight shouted "Oh no! The sleep spell I put on the Wanderer was only supposed to last for two!"

"The what on the who was what now?"

Zachary awoke in darkness. The first thing he noticed was Dogmeat stirring beside him. Zachary groaned and the sound was imitated by Dogmeat. He sat up and rubbed his head, which was hurting like hell.

"Ugh. What happened?" he said to no one in particular. He thought for a moment before remembering what had happened. A, admittedly adorable, creature that looked like and claimed to be a unicorn had appeared out of nowhere in a flash of light and then there was another flash of light and they were here. Wherever here was. With a bit of embarrassment, he remembered how he had reacted. What had come over him? He was the freaking 'Lone Wanderer' for God's sake! He had faced stranger and more dangerous things than a talking unicorn and kept his cool... Hadn't he? Zachary stood up and looked around. He and Dogmeat appeared to be in some kind of basement. He located a flight of stairs leading up to a door with light shining beneath it. With Dogmeat at his heels, he walked up the stairs, Gauss rifle in hand. Without pause he kicked the door back and prepared to face whatever might be in the next room. The scene before him was nothing like what he had expected. The room beyond the door appeared to be the main room of a small library, and standing around a table in the center of the room with a unicorn head carving on it were a small white unicorn, a small pink horse with a fluffy mane, a small yellow horse with wings and a pink mane, and some kind of small purple reptile. All of them spun to face him the moment he flung the door open. All he said was, "Shit". The first of the creatures to speak was the white unicorn.

"Who in Equestria are you?!"

"Um... My name is Zachary" he said "And I think I've gone insane"


	4. Please Explain

"The Wanderer!" Twilight shouted "I put a sleep spell on him that was only supposed to last for two hours! He's probably awake by now!"

"Who?" the human sitting before her asked "Listen, girly. Maybe you should just slow down and explain everything a little more clearly to me." But Twilight was still in panic mode.

"I didn't lock my basement door!"

"Say what?" the human raised an eyebrow.

"I didn't take his weapons!"

"You-"

"By Celestia! I left Spike alone, with him in the house!"

"By who-?"

"This is bad, I-" SLAP! Twilight felt the sharp sting of the human's hand across her left cheek.

"Get a hold of yourself, woman!" the human was almost shouting when he said this "Slow down and calmly explain to me what you're talking about. Let's start with your name. Can you tell me your name?" Twilight was still a little panicky, but she managed to calm down long enough to start answering his questions.

"Twilight Sparkle" she said shakily.

"And just who and/or what are you Miss Sparkle?"

"I am a unicorn, the personal student of Princess Celestia, and the bearer of the Element of Magic", was her shocked and automatic reply.

"No idea who or what any of that is, but we can get into that later. Now what exactly are you doing here Miss Sparkle?"

"I came looking for the Courier. I need him to-... Oh, my gosh! You're him!" her face lit up with excitement and her sense of panic vanished as she recognized the human before her, "You're Darren Ross!"

"Yes. Yes I am." Darren said with a sigh, "Now back to my questions. What's this about a wanderer stuck in your basement with his weapons and someone named Spike?"

"Not a wanderer!" Twilight said sternly "The Wanderer! He's a hero, like you. In his home, in the Capitol Wasteland, he's defeated many evil people and creatures and he is an unstoppable force for good! I need the both of you to help me back in my home and I picked him up first. I didn't have time to explain anything to him, so instead I just knocked him out and came to get you." Dozens of questions were running through Darren's mind as the 'unicorn' spoke, but he decided to keep cool and play along.

"Well," he said "if this 'Wanderer' is all that you make him out to be then I'm sure that, wherever he is, when he wakes up he will keep a cool head and act rationally."

Applejack trotted hurriedly through the streets of Ponyville on her way to her friend Twilight's library. She and her other friends hadn't seen her outside of her home in days. Spike had come out occasionally and according to him Twilight was busy with some big project that she wouldn't tell him about. She would rush about the library, grabbing this book or that, without any obvious connection between her choices. Then she would dash off to the basement and lock herself in there for hours at a time, once even spending a whole night down there. Every once in a while she would send Spike out for supplies and such but she would never come out herself. She claimed that she was too busy. But today Applejack and the others had decided that enough was enough.

Twilight needed to take a break and spend some time outside of the library or she was going to work herself sick. Applejack and the others had agreed to meet at the library with Spike and catch Twilight when she came out of the basement to grab more books. Then they would make her tell them exactly what was going on and get her to go outside with them for a bit. Applejack made it to the library and placed a hoof on the door, preparing to go in. She knew that Rarity, Pinkie Pie, and Fluttershy were already there, and Rainbow Dash would be along as soon as she finished up some of her weather related duties. As Applejack prepared to go inside she heard a loud, BANG, and saw a flash of light under the door. There was a horrified scream and raised voices. Without thinking, she flung the door open and was faced with an unusual sight.

Off to the right, Fluttershy was lavishing attention on a rather large dog that was attempting, and failing, to look ferocious as it enjoyed having its head scratched by the gentle mares hooves. In the center of the room, Spike was attempting to revive a fainted Rarity next to an ugly black blast mark in the floor. To the right, Pinkie was wrestling a metal clad two-legged creature for possession of a shiny metal devise that was smoking from a hole at one end. Pinkie was shouting something at the creature that sounded like, "Where is she?! Where is she?!" The creature, on the other hoof, had its head turned towards Fluttershy and the dog and was shouting, "Dogmeat, you traitor, no fraternizing with the enemy!"

"You're right." Twilight said, calming down a bit more, "I'm sure that he'll be perfectly fine after he has a minute to assess his situation. Now I just need to get you home to get this all straightened out."

"Um... Ookaayy..." Darren said carefully "If you need help with something then I'm happy to oblige, but before we go anywhere I think I'm going to need a better explanation of what's going on."

"No time!" Twilight shouted. She sprang to her hooves and Darren stood up, backing away a little.

"We have to go now!" she continued.

"No looky here, I aint just gunna-" he paused as Twilight's eyes and horn began to glow, "Well that's new." They vanished in a flash of light.

When Darren's vision cleared, he looked around and found himself to be standing in a library next to Twilight. His gaze was immediately drawn to a scene in one corner of the room. Four brightly colored, creatures similar in size and shape to Twilight, along with a small purple gecko and a dog, were standing around a power-armored man lying on the ground with his hands and feet bound before him, with an apple stuck in his mouth. The man was glaring daggers at the creatures, who hadn't yet noticed Darren and Twilight standing behind them. Without hesitation, Darren shouted, "Would somebody please explain what the fuck is going on here?!" Five pairs of angry eyes turned to glare at him while the human looked up hopefully at him. Darren didn't like the looks the creatures were giving him.

"Shit."


	5. Introductions

Everything happened at once. As soon as the four ponies and the reptile turned away from him, Zachary easily snapped the ropes binding him and removed the gag from his mouth, but they didn't immediately notice. When ponies saw the new human and the unicorn that had identified herself as 'Twilight Sparkle', they sprang into action. The white unicorn shrieked something about a bloody mane and ran towards the purple unicorn who ran to meet her. The yellow pegasus busied herself calming down Dogmeat, who had assumed an aggressive stance upon the appearance of the human and unicorn. The orange pony with the hat dashed forward, spun around and kicked the new human with her hind legs before he could react, sending him flying backwards into a book shelf where he fell back to the ground and landed in a crouch. Seizing upon the confusion, Zachary sprang to his feet.

The first one to notice him stand up was the little reptile. Zachary backhanded the little thing, knocking it into a wall where it fell, unconscious. He looked around for his weapons but was interrupted when the pink one spun around, but before it could do anything, Zachary launched forward and grabbed it by the mane and tail, lifting it into the air with its legs waving wildly. He held it above his head saw the orange one moving towards the new human. Faster than the orange pony could react, the man drew a pistol, but instead of immediately shooting the pony like Zachary had expected him to do, the man fired once at the ceiling before aiming back at the pony and giving it a warning look. At the sound of the gun shot, everyone in the room stopped what they were doing and spun to look at the new human.

"All right, listen up!", he shouted, "Everyone that isn't human move to the other side of the room! You!", he pointed to Zachary, "Drop the pink one and get over here! Twilight, you stay right where you are!" Everyone did as he commanded. The ponies were reluctant, but they had seen the blast mark that Zachary's Gauss rifle had left on the floor. What he was holding appeared to be just a smaller version to them. Zachary lowered the pink pony to the floor and carefully made his way over to the other human. The purple unicorn stood in the middle of the room with an apprehensive look but remained silent an let the man continue. He stood up from his crouched position before continuing.

"Now, before we all kill each other, why don't we start with some introductions, shall we? My name is Darren Ross.", he looked at Zachary, "And you are?"

"Zachary Morris. Though most people where I'm from call me the Wanderer. And that traitorous, shit eating, dog over by the yellow one is my dog, Dogmeat", Darren nodded at the answer.

"Figured as much.", he said, "The purple one kept blabbing about some 'Wanderer' she stuck in her basement. Anyways lets continue. You! Why don't you tell us your name first." he said, as he pointed his gun at the orange one that had kicked him.

Without flinching, she glared up at him and said, "Mah names Applejack."

"Very good.", Darren continued, "Now I know who I'm killing if you decide to kick me again.", the ponies shifted nervously when he said this. He gestured to the white and purple one, "How about you?"

"Rarity", she said haughtily. He pointed to the pink one who was currently scowling and growling at Zachary like a dog.

"Pinkie Pie", she reluctantly said. Darren turned to the winged yellow and pink one.

"And you would be?" She hid behind her long mane and mumbled something that Darren couldn't quite catch.

"I'm sorry, what was that?" She mumbled something a little louder but he still couldn't catch it.

"Seriously, you're going to have to speak u-"

"I SAID, MY NAME IS FLUTTERSHY!", she finally shouted before cowering behind Dogmeat, who was now growling aggressively at Darren.

"Alrighty then", he said, slightly puzzled at the pony's outburst, "Now then, before we resume our little bout of chaos, why don't we get a few explanations from everybody so that I know exactly WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON!", he ended with a shout. He turned back to Zachary, "The thing at the front of my mind, at the moment, is exactly how a man wearing what appears to be T-51b power armor let himself get tied up by a bunch of small and unimpressive female creatures."

"I don't want to talk about it" Zachary mumbled, trying not to look embarrassed.

"Too bad, 'cause that's gunna keep bugging me until I know the answer and no one

is leaving this room or doing anything until I know. Got it?"

"Fine", Zachary grouched, "The pink one hit me with a pie, and knocked me out."

"Say what?"

Zachary sighed, "I said the pink one hit me with a pie." Darren simply stared at him when he said this and blinked a couple of times before speaking.

"The pink one?"

"Yes"

"She hit you?"

"Yes"

"With a pie?"

"You're a sharp one, aren't you..."

"So a tiny female named 'Pinkie Pie'... hit you with a pie..."

"In the face..."

"And knocked you out..."

"Yep." There was silence for what seemed like an eternity. Then Darren broke the silence with a cackling laugh that could only come from a mad-man.

"It's not funny! The orange one hit me from behind and then she sucker punched me with a pie!", Zachary shouted at him, but Darren continued to laugh, "It hurt like hell." Darren finally stopped laughing and turned back to the ponies, who were now looking at him like he was crazy. He faced Twilight while keeping his gun focused on the other four ponies.

"Now the next thing I would like to know is just exactly what the hell you all are."

"We're ponies" she said blankly.

"And what the hell is a pony?"

"Well, a pony", Zachary said, sounding a little condescending, "is a small horse. But, more specifically, Twilight and that white one are called unicorns and the yellow one with the wings is called a pegasus." Darren decided that, later, he was going to beat the hell out of the man for talking to him like a child, but for now he would play along.

"Now let's pretend that I have no idea what horses, unicorns, and pegasuses-"

"Pegasi."

"Whatever! Let's pretend I don't know a thing about them. So what exactly ar-". The yellow pegasus raised her hoof and Darren turned to her.

"Yes, Fluttershy?"

"Well, um, Mr. Darren sir, I was just wondering, well..."

"Spit it out girl, we haven't got all day!" At his outburst, the little pegasus squeaked and hid behind Dogmeat again.

"Hey!", Pinkie Pie shouted at Darren, "You can't talk to her like that!"

"Oh, come on! All I said was-" the front door of the library crashed open and in strode a light blue pegasus with a multi-colored mane.

"Sorry I'm late you guys. The weather patrol was-" she stopped and took in the scene before her. Spike was unconscious against one wall, Fluttershy was hiding behind a strange dog, Twilight was covered in blood, and the rest of her friends were taking aggressive stances towards two strange two-legged creatures, one of which was covered in metal and one was pointing a strange object at her friends. She sprang into action. She zoomed across the room, ramming into Darren, and all hell broke loose.


	6. Brawl

When Darren was barreled over by the pegasus, he lost his grip on 'Maria' and it fell to the ground where it skidded to a stop halfway between Zachary and the ponies. As Darren struggled with the winged menace, Zachary and the other ponies paused for just a minute. They looked at eachother, then at the gun, the back at each other. Without a word, Zachary dove for the gun, as did Pinkie Pie and Applejack. They all reached it at the same time and Zachary swatted Pinkie Pie to the side, grabbing the gun only to be bucked in the chest by Applejack. Zachary fell backwards but managed to keep hold of the gun. He scrambled back to his feet and aimed the gun at the orange pony only to find it being jerked out of his hand and floating towards Rarity, who's horn was glowing in a faint blue aura.

"What the Hell?!", he shouted angrily. He started towards her only to find Pinkie putting him into a headlock and Applejack repeatedly bucking his chest and legs, causing him to stumble backwards a bit.

Meanwhile, Darren was getting his ass handed to him by the prysmaticaly maned pegasus. Darren had many skills; he was a highly trained medic, he was the best damn shot in the whole of the Mojave, and there was no one better with a blade. But hand to hand combat was not one of his skills. As strong as he was, Darren just couldn't throw a punch to save his life. When the pegasus rammed into him, he had dropped to the floor and rolled with the impact in an attempt to manuever away from her, but it hadn't worked. Instead, now he was caught in a crouch as she hovered around him, striking at him repeatedly.

The only way he was going to beat this winged menace was if he could get some space for even a single moment. Then he could draw a weapon and end this. But he just couldn't get her off of him. At the moment, he was focusing on just trying to keep her from pummeling his face in with her hooves. He kept on ducking and using his arms to shield himself from her furious assualt, but it was no good. She just kept beating him with her hooves and wings, leaving ugly scrapes all over his arms and one, slowly forming, black eye from a lucky shot she had gotten in when she had first rushed him.

Finally, she backed off for a moment to prepare another attack and, finally, Darren saw an opening. Fast as lightning, he stood and wipped out one of his hidden throwing knives from his vest with his left hand. Now that he was armed, even if it was just a small knife, he stood a chance. He slashed at he pegasus when she tried to attack again, drawing a thin red line across her left foreleg and she drew back with a cry of pain. Using this moment of peace he had bought himself, he quickly looked around to survey the situation.

Zachary was struggling to dislodge Pinkie Pie from his back and he might have succeeded if he wasn't having to deal with Applejack, who was continualy bucking his chest and legs. After having been kicked only once by the orange pony, Darren was sure that the only thing keeping Zachary standing was his armor. Across the room from them, Rarity was examining 'Maria', which was floating in a mysterious blue aura that was also emanating from her horn. As it floated, the gun was aiming at Zachary, Pinkie, and Applejack. Twilight was where she had been standing the whole time and was shouting for everyone to calm down and stop fighting.

Darren quickly assessed what he needed to do. First off, he needed to deal with the pegasus. She had recovered from the initial shock of being cut and was coming at him again. He leapt to the left, drew his katana with his right hand, and swatted her across the head with the flat of the blade, knocking her to the ground stunned. Then he spun to deal with what had deemed the second biggest issue at hand, the pony called Applejack. Darren had noted that her mane and tail were both done up in pony tails.

Is that where that term comes from?, he thought to himself as he prepared to deal with her. He also noted that her pony tails flailed about whenever she would spin to buck Zachary. With unmatched speed and accuracy, Darren launched his throwing knife at her. The knife caught the end of the pony tail in her mane and then continued on to embed itself in the wall near them. Applejack didn't notice at first so when she quickly moved to follow Zachary, who was doing his best to get away from her so that he could get his bearings, she was jerked back for a moment. This distraction gave Zachary just enough time to concentrate on Pinkie Pie. He reached up, grabbed the pink pony by her shoulders and threw her away from him towards Applejack. She collided with the orange mare just as she got her mane unhooked from the knife and they rolled several feet before stopping.

Now that Zachary was free to deal with those two, Darren could focus on the finall issue at hand, the white unicorn, Rarity, who was examining 'Maria' as it hung suspended before her in a glowing bue aura. The gun itself was aiming in Zachary's direction. After checking behind him to make sure that the blue pegasus was still down, Darren moved to go take the gun from Rarity. He was hal way to her when a large grey blur shot out of nowhere and latched onto his leg. Darren looked down to find Dogmeat with his teeth clamped down around the back of his pantleg, and Fluttershy trying to calm the beast down. It hadn't taken kindly to the human aproaching his new friend with a weapon drawn.

Twilight watched the chaos unfold with horror. She tried unsuccesfully to get everyone to calm down, but no one would listen.

"Everypony stop! Please stop and let me explain! Stop fighting!", but her shouts were to no avail. The ponies and the humans continued their brawl. Finally she decided that if they wouldn't stop, then she would make them stop. Her horn and eyes started to glow as she prepared her spell. She unleashed her magic with a burst of force and everyone in the room but her froze. She examined the scene frozen in time before her. Darren had dropped his sword and was holding onto a startled Rarity's horn while Dogmeat still clung to his leg and Fluttershy was restraining his other arm. Rainbow Dash, who was no longer stunned, was stuck in mid-flight towards Darren.

On the other side of the room, Applejack was frozen in the middle of preparing to buck at Zachary again and he was posed as if ready to grab her hooves when she did. Above Applejack in was Pinkie Pie, stuck leaping over her with a pie in either hoof and a determined scowl on her face. Twilight used her magic to adjust everyone's positions so that Applejack was not bucking at Zachary, Pinkie was now firmly on the floor, as was Rainbow Dash, and everyone turned to face Twilight. The only sign that any of them were still aware was the movement of their eyes.

"Alright!", she said firmly, "I'm going to let you all go and when I do we are all going to sit down and talk. This. Over. Do I make myself clear?", she released their head from her spell, "Nod if I am making myself clear." All of them nodded.

"Very good", Twilight continued, "On the count of three I will let you go. One... Two... Three!" Twilight released her hold on the spell and they all fell forward a bit as they suddenly regained controll of their bodies. They all stood frozen for a moment before Zachary, who still wore a scowl, finally spoke up.

"So, how about some explanations?"

"Alright", she replied, "But first I think we should all take a seat."


	7. Let's Try This Again

Half an hour later the two humans and the ponies were sitting around a large table in Twilight's basement. Twilight sat at the head of the table with an annoyed look on her face. To her right sat all of her friends and to her left sat Zachary and Darren. Reluctantly, the ponies had returned Zachary's pack and weapons at Twilights insistance. His and Darren's packs were now laying on the floor beside them and their rifles were resting against the wall behind them.

Darren had used a stimpak to heal the cuts and scrapes along his arm and was currently holding an ice pack over his now blackened eye. He was using his good eye to glare murderously across the table at Rainbow Dash, who was glaring right back as she held her now bandaged foreleg with her good hoof. Darren had refused Twilight's request that he offer a stimpak to the colorful pegasus. He wasn't giving her anything until she apologized for ruining the negotiations he had been trying to open up, and she wasn't apologizing.

Zachary and Pinkie Pie were simply staring at each other, silently daring each other to make a move and Pinkie had the strangest smile on her face as she sat there... Despite the relative peace that Twilight had forced them all into, Zachary still didn't trust the pink mare not to pull something. Where the hell had she gotten those pies? What the hell did she put in them that had made one knock him out?! What flavor were they?! That last question was particularly bothering him for reasons he could not fathom. Zachary also didn't like the look in her eye. There was something _off_ about her and he just couldn't put his finger on it. Sure the one called Applejack seemed to be stronger than the rest, two of them could fly, and it appeared that Twilight and Rarity held some form of magic, but Pinkie... She was the dangerous one, he just knew it. She was the one he was watching out for.

Dogmeat was sitting by the foot of the stairs that lead out of the basement. The dog was smart enough to realize that his master wasn't happy with him at the moment, and it had something to do with Dogmeat's new friends. So Dogmeat was keeping his distance from his master and his new friends until they settled down. Fluttershy sat at one end of the table, cowering between Applejack and Rarity. Spike, who had an ice pack strapped to the top of his head, was standing next to Twilight with a quill and some paper.

As they sat there, Zachary let his eyes wander away from Pinkie Pie for a moment, without turning his head, to take another look around the basement. It had been dark when he had first woken up and headed upstairs so he hadn't really seen much of it before now. Their table resided in the center of the room. Along one wall was a series of bookshelves. On the side of the room farthest from the stairs, there were three tables filled with microscopes, vials of mysterious liquids, and strange devices. On either end of the tables there were large piles of books and loose leaves of paper that appeared to have notes on them. The center table had several open crates sitting under it. From his seat, Zachary caught a glimpse of what was in the crates. It appeared to be piles of junk and... Was that a ten millimeter pistol poking out of the top of the pile?

Zachary snapped his attention back to Twilight with a new curiosity. She was glaring at the humans and the other ponies alike.

"Alright!", she finally said, her voice raised almost to a shout, "Is everyone calm now?! No one is going to try to kill each other? Good!" She glanced around the table at everyone gathered there, "Ok! Earlier you were all asking questions. Feel free to do so now, _without_ any weapons or violence, and I will do my best to answer."

They were all quiet for a moment before Darren stopped glaring at Rainbow Dash and turned to Twilight with a scowl. He just stared at her for a moment and then looked around at the others before saying, "Well, I suppose that the most important question I have right now is, why did you bring us here?" Everyone looked at her expectantly. While they had all been patching each other up after their little skirmish, the other ponies had been shocked when Twilight had told them that she had brought Darren and Zachary there on purpose.

Twilight's look changed from one of anger to one of nervous aprehension. She glanced at her friends before replying. She appeared to be thinking hard and when she spoke she chose her words carefully.

"I brought you here because... Equestria needs you. I believe that there is a great danger hanging over the land and only you can help."

"Now wait just one minute!", Applejack shouted from her end of the table, "What do yall mean 'Danger hangin over Equestria'?!" Her outburst was echoed by the other mares at the table. They were all in various states of worry and confusion over Twilight's statement.

"What do you mean danger? And why do you need these two ruffians?" Rarity cut in with a gesture towards Darren and Zachary. Twilight hesitated before answering.

"I need them because they've dealt with the kind of trouble I'm expecting before. As for what that trouble is, I... I'm sorry but I can't tell you that just yet", she finally said.

"What do you mean you can't tell us?!" Rainbow Dash said forcefully, slamming her good hoof onto the table as she did so.

"I mean just that! I can't tell you just yet. None of you were supposed to know until I was sure that this was going to work. I didn't want to worry you all about something that _you_ couldn't fix."

"Why wouldn't we be able to fix it?!", Rainbow continued, "We can-!"

"Please!", Twilight's shout interupted Rainbow Dash before she could go on, " Please, I... I just need you to trust me on this one. I will tell you all everything in due time, but for now... I ask that you all trust me when I say that I can't tell you everything just yet." She stopped and gave her friends a pleading look. Her friends looked at her for a moment and then to each other. A silent agreement seemed to pass between all of them.

Rainbow turned back to Twilight and said, "Alright. We'll trust you. But that doesn't mean we trust them!" She pointed at Darren accusingly. His only response was a single finger.

"Thank you.", Twilight said with a relieved sigh, "Thank you all. And now for a question of my own. How did you get into the library?! None of you were even supposed to be here today!", Twilight turned to Spike before she continued, "_Somepony_ was supposed to make sure that the front door was locked and nopony came in today!"

Spike shrugged guiltily and said, "Sorry, Twilight, but we were all worried about you. You've been so busy lately with your mysterious project that you wouldn't tell any of us about that we figured you needed a break before you wore yourself out."

Applejack cut in, "So we decided we'd catch ya when you came out of the basement and make ya take a break."

"Me, Pinkie Pie, and Fluttershy got there first" Rarity stated, "and we were waiting for the others when your basement door slammed open and out _he_ came!" She gestured to Zachary, who didn't react to her.

Pinkie decided to throw her two bits into the story as well, "And then Rarity was like, 'Who are you?!' And he was like, 'I'm insane!'", the pink mare was talking at hyper speeds and they only caught half of what she was saying, "And then Rarity tried to greet him and he said, 'No, stay back!', but Rarity kept walking towards him so he was like, 'I'm warning you!' and then-" She was silenced when she found Applejack's hoof in her mouth.

"Long story short, there was a tussel, I walked in on em and helped em deal with him, then yall popped in and you know the rest." She removed her hoof from Pinkie Pie's mouth and the pink mare pouted at her, dissapointed that she didn't get to tell the story.

"Well, at least now we know what you were working on I suppose", Rarity stated, "Finding these scruffy looking miscreants."

Darren turned his glare on her and scratched his beard, "Who's scruffy looking?" Rarity gave him a disgusted glance and continued talking to Twilight.

"Well, darling, if you're not going to tell us then we can't make you. I'm sure you'll tell us in your own time", she gave Twilight the most charming smile she could muster.

Twilight looked at her suspiciously before saying, "Thank you. Thank you all for your understanding. I promise, I'll explain everything as soon as I've gotten a few things cleared up. Now, are there any more questions you girls want to ask?" Fluttershy raised a hoof in the air and Twilight gestured for her to speak.

"Um, my question is for, um, Mr. Ross and Mr. Morris as well as you, Twilight" This drew Darren and Zachary's attention to the quiet pegasus. She wilted a bit under their gaze, hiding most of her face in her hair.

"Well?", Darren said quizzically, "What do you want to know?" Zachary remained quiet.

Fluttershy hesitated before trying to speak up again, "Well, um, I was just wondering, well, what I meant to ask was..."

When she remained quiet, Darren spoke up in a friendly tone, "Look, I'm sorry I yelled at you earlier. It was wrong of me. Now what would you like to know?" The other ponies looked at him with confusion. Had this creature, that had been shouting and glaring this whole time, just been polite to Fluttershy? Fluttershy actually seemed to perk up just a bit at his apology.

"Well, Mr. Ross, um, I was just wondering, _what_ exactly are you?" she asked sweetly. Darren paused and Zachary looked on curiously.

"Well, we're humans...", he said. It came out almost like a question when he said it.

"And what, pray tell, is a _human_?", Rarity asked. Zachary rolled his eyes and Darren let out a sigh. This was going to take a while.


	8. Reasons

When Twilight and the humans finally finished their long, and often interrupted, explanation of just exactly _what_ a human being was, Twilight began to usher her friends out of the basement.

When they were all out the basement door she said, "Thank you for your concern girls and I promise a better explanation of what's going on later, but right now I need to talk with my guests alone."

"But Twilight, ya'll-", Applejack tried to protest, but Twilight cut her off.

"I'm sorry Applejack, but I assure you the secrecy is necessary. I will explain everything later. I promise." and with that she slammed her basement door in the faces of the five mares and dragon. As they heard her hoofsteps recede down the stairs, they looked at each other for a moment. Rainbow was the first to speak up.

"I'm not buying it. Something so dangerous that we couldn't handle it? If we couldn't handle it then why would those two wierdos she found be able to handle it?"

"Ah' don't know, but Ah don't like it.", Applejack said, "Somethin' just don't feel right. I don't like the looks of those fellers. That 'Darren' seemed kinda shifty and that 'Zachary' fella seemed outright hostile. Did you see the way he was looking at Pinkie?" Rainbow nodded in agreement as she stood there, favoring her injured leg.

"Well, to be fair, you and Pinkie Pie did knock him out and tie him up", Rarity pointed out.

"That's not the point!", Applejack said, "And we only did it because he fired that thing at you."

"What I want to know", Rainbow Dash said, "is what are we gonna do?"

"Maybe we should trust Twilight?" Fluttershy said softly, "She is our friend and we've been through a lot together. Maybe she has a good reason for keeping secrets. She did say she would tell us what was going on when she was ready. Maybe we should just wait." The others stopped and stared at her for a moment and then at each other. After a bit of thought, Spike spoke.

"Nah. No way we can just sit back and leave her alone with those two. You know how Twilight can be. She's probably not in her right mind right now. She mentioned some 'big danger' right? Well she's probably freaked out and you remember how she gets when she's stressed. Remember how she acted when she realized she was just going to be late for one of her friendship reports?"

"But that was a long time ago", Fluttershy said, "What if this time is different? She has been getting better about that. Remember the Equestrian Games?" But it was no use. Spike and the other mares weren't listening.

"So what are we gonna do?" Applejack asked.

They stood there for a moment contemplating the issue before Rarity's eyes widened and she shouted, "I have it!" Spike and the other mares perked up and looked to her curiously.

"What?! What do you have?", Pinkie Pie asked.

"I know what to do", Rarity said, "Come closer and I'll tell you." She beckoned them to gather round and began to relate her absolutely genius plan to them.

* * *

Darren took the time that Twilight spent escorting her friends out to get a better look at the other human, Zachary, with his un-blackened eye. Zachary was a little over a foot taller than Darren and probably would be even without his armor, which meant that he was at least six feet tall. His hair was a dark brown color and was just a little longer and neater than Darren's. The Wanderer's eyes were green in color. He looked to be no more than half as old as Darren, which put him in his early to mid-twenties. All in all he didn't look too remarkable if you took away the weapons and armor.

Zachary, in turn, was examining Darren out of the corner of his eye. At first glance Darren didn't seem that impressive, but Zachary had learned a long time ago that appearances could be very deceiving. When he examined the man more closely he saw the way Darren held himself even when sitting as they were. It was clear that he knew how to use the sword on his hip and the rifle sitting behind him.

They both stood up from their seats when they noticed Twilight coming back down the stairs and Darren sat his ice pack on the table. Leaving their rifles where they sat, they left the table and moved to meet her at the bottom of the stairs. Twilight saw them coming and began to speak when she reached the bottom of the stairs.

"Alright, now I'm sure you both have a lot of questions and now that my friends are out of the way for the moment I would be happy to- GUN IN MY FACE!" There was indeed the barrel of a gun in her face. Zachary's laser pistol to be exact.

"You have thirty seconds to explain to me what the Hell was so important that you had to ruin the first normal day I was having in a long time and remove me from my home. If I see even one spark come out of that horn of yours I pull the trigger and burn a hole right through your skull." He said threateningly.

"Please! Put the weapon down, I will explain everything if you just put the gun away!", Twilight was confused. Why was the Wanderer acting like this? According to all of her research he was supposed to be a kind and diplomatic soul, not a trigger happy grump!

"Not gonna happen", Zachary continued, "I make it a habit not to trust things that appear with bright lights. Damn aliens..."

Darren grabbed Zachary's shoulder and said, "I believed the lady asked you to remove the gun from her face"

"And I said 'not gonna happen'"

"I don't think you understood me", Darren removed his hand from Zachary's shoulder and, the next thing Zachary knew, there was a knife pressed to his throat and a golden pistol being pressed to his temple, "I said put the gun away." Without saying anything, Zachary let out two low whistles. Suddenly Darren felt a sharp pressure on one ankle and something being pressed lightly into his stomach. He shifted his eyes downward briefly to find Zachary's dog with his jaws lightly clamped around his ankle and Zachary's free hand holdng a knife to his stomach.

"Your move", the Wanderer said. Twilight looked on at the interaction with horror. Her horror then changed to anger.

"I cannot believe you two!", she shouted. Zachary and Darren turned to her with blank expressions.

"You are both supposed to be heroes!", she continued, "I have watched from afar as you both were dropped into situations far stranger than this and kept cool heads. You are both supposed to be the best your world had to offer! Brave and kind, and yet here you are fighting and bickering and pointing guns around willy nilly!", she focused on the Wanderer, "Zachary, I was already going to explain, so there was no need for the gun!", she turned her focus to the Courier and said, "Darren, did you really think that pulling a knife and a gun on an armed man would really force him to calm down? You should both be ashamed of yourselves!"

As Twilight's speech had progressed, the humans' eyes had slowly grown wider and wider. Here was an adorable purple creature admonishing them for daily wasteland behavior... Darren burst into raucous laughter and with a twirl of his pistol and a flourish if his knife he put both weapons away. Dogmeat let go of his leg and looked up at him with his head cocked to the side in confusion. Why was the human laughing? He thought they were supposed to be fighting!

"You know what girly?", Darren asked through his laughter, "I like you. Takes guts to stand up to two armed men like us." Zachary looked back and forth between Darren and Twilight who was looking at him expectantly. Finally, with one last glare at Twilight, he put his laser pistol away.

"Fine, I'll put it away, but I want those answers and they'd better be good", he said, "And if I see even _one_ stray spark out of that horn of yours..." He trailed off, leaving the statement unfinished.

"Thank you. Now, if you would both take a seat again, I will give you a detailed explanation and answer your questions", she lead them back to the table and they took their seats where Twilight spoke again, "In case it wasn't clear and you hadn't already figured it out, you are no longer in the wasteland. In fact, you are no longer even on your own world."

"What, so you somehow brought us to another planet?", Zachary asked, "Dammit, more aliens!"

"No no", Twilight said before he could continue, "Not just another planet. Not exactly anyways."

"What do you mean 'not exactly'?", Darren asked as he leaned forward curiously.

"What I mean", Twilight continued, "is that you are no longer within the bounds of your own universe. At least, I don't think we are from what I've been able to tell."

"Another universe? I've dealt with teleportation before, but to go to an entirely different universe... How is that even possible? " Darren asked.

"With magic", Twilight said matter-of-factly.

"I'm not stupid", Darren replied, "Magic doesn't exist. I'm not some simple minded tribal, so you can give me the real explanation."

"But it's true", Twilight said sternly, "If magic couldn't exist than how did I freeze you earlier? And how can I do this?", her horn glowed and several books and various other items around the room began to glow with the same purple aura and started floating around. When Zachary saw her horn light up his hand went to his pistol, but he remained seated and didn't draw it.

"You don't need magic to do that", Darren said, "I've seen similar affects achieved using manipulated forcefields. It wouldn't be impossible to implant a control chip for some kind of generators into that horn of your's." Twilight released her hold on the floating objects with a sigh.

"Well I suppose I don't have to convince you just yet", Twilight said, "Just as long as you accept the results. As I was saying, you are no longer in your world. You are currently sitting in the magical world of 'Equis'." Her horn glowed again and a chest floated over to her from atop a nearby book case. When it reached her, out floated a crystalline gem, about the size of Zachary's forearm. The crystal then floated over to the center of the table and touched down in a small indentation that the humans hadn't noticed before.

Twilight released the crystal from her telekinetic grasp. Zachary opened his mouth to speak, but he was silenced when Twilight tilted her head forward and a bright beam of light shot out of her horn and into the crystal. Immediately the crystal lit up and what looked to be a large map appeared, taking up the entire table. Darren picked up the ice pack that he'd set down earlier and placed it back over his black eye. Where the ice pack once sat there was now a miniature mountain.

Zachary took his hand away from his pistol and leaned in closer to look at the map.

"This is... This is where we are?", he asked almost reverantly, "There's so much _green_!", he said in amazement. All trace of hostility seemed to vanish from him as he examined the map placed before him.

"A holographic projection", Darren said curiously, "Impressive. In full color too. Even more impressive. And that _is_ a lot of green... Even more green than when I was in Zion..." Zachary glanced over at Darren in surprise when he mentioned the name Zion but did not say anything_*****_.

"Let's start with the basics. We are currently here", Twilight continued. Her horn sparked once more and a small flashing light appeared in the center of a small town towards the middle of the map, "This is Ponyville."

"Really?", Zachary said, looking up from the map with a raised eyebrow, "_Pony_ville?"

"Yes, what's wrong with it?", Twilight asked a little incredulously.

"Nothing, nothing. Just... Continue please..."

Twilight glared at him suspiciously before continuing, "This little town resides at the center of the land of Equestria", her horn glowed again and a large section of the map was surrounded by a red border with the first red dot towards its middle, "Equestria is ruled by the Princesses Celestia and Luna who live _here_", the first red dot dissapeared and reapeared over the figure of a fairly large stone city on a mountainside, "This is Canterlot, the capitol of Equestria."

"Alright, you've got my interest so far, but what exactly do you need from us?", Darren asked.

"Please be patient Mr. Ross, I'll get to that soon.", Twilight said, "The Princesses are rulers of the day and night. Princess Celestia is the ruler of the day. She uses her own power to raise and lower the sun each day. Princess Luna rules the night and controls the moon and stars."

"Wait, so they're supposed to be like goddesses or something?", Darren said. Zachary sat up straighter when he heard Darren's comment.

"False goddesses, more likely", he said, "Is that why you brought us here? To deal with false goddesses?"

"Fight a revolution for you?", Darren said, continuing that line of thought. Twilight's eyes widened in shock.

"What?! No! No, I did _not_ bring you here to fight a revolution and Luna and Celestia are _not_ false goddesses, they are _Princesses_!"

"You said you believed they ruled the sun, moon, and stars", Darren said.

"Sounds fairly god-like to me", Zachary said, "But I know of only _one_ God."

"You sure we're not here to fight them? Usually when I encounter some all powerful authority figure they end up needing to be toppled", Darren continued non-chalantley. Twilight looked back and forth between the two humans for a few moments, her shock turning into frustration.

"_No_, Luna and Celestia are _not_ goddesses! They are just very powerful. And _no_, they do not need to be toppled, we are very happy under their rule!"

"Then why are we here?", Zachary asked.

"I was getting to that! I brought you here because-", she was interupted by a very loud sneeze from a window, high up in the basement wall. "For crying out loud, what now?!"

* * *

**AUTHOR'S NOTES:**

I'm so horrible, I really should just tell you why she brought them there, but I felt like teasing you for one more chapter. At least my chapters are getting longer. Is it just me or did Twilight's dialogue feel a little rushed/forced the way I did it?

1: I've decided that this story takes place right before the events of 'Magical Mystery Cure', but after the 'Equestria Games'.

2: I decided to go with 'Equis' as the name for the 'planet' in MLP: FIM because the only mention of 'Earth' in the show was during the Hearth's Warming Eve pageant as the possible name of a _country_ the Earth ponies would have founded

3: _*****__Then I looked, and behold, on Mount __**Zion**__ stood the Lamb, and with him 144,000 who had his name and his Father's name written on their foreheads._ ~Revelations 14:1...


	9. Reasons Part 2

"AAAAACHOO!"

"Pinkie Pie!"

"Sorry, Dashie! But these flowers make me all sneezy." Pinkie Pie, Rainbow Dash, and the other mares plus one baby dragon were gathered at the back of Twilight's library near the one window they could find to her basement.

"Ah' still can't believe that this was yer 'brilliant' plan, Rarity," Applejack said from her spot to the rear of the group. She hadn't liked the idea of just listening in on Twilight's conversation with the 'humans' so she had stayed away from the window.

"Well I didn't see anypony else coming up with any ideas," the dress maker replied.

"Well, um, we could still wait for Twilight to tell us when she's ready," Fluttershy said from her place next to Rarity. But her suggestion was once more ignored.

Pinkie Pie, who had gone back to staring through the window, turned back to her friends and spoke up, "Hey girls, I think that we shou- WOAH!" Before she finished speaking, the basement window shot open, her tail was grasped by an armored hand and she was pulled through the window.

"PINKIE!," the other mares and Spike shouted in unison.

* * *

Inside the basement, Pinkie Pie found herself hanging upside down with her tail in the grip of Zachary's armored right hand. The Wanderer was standing on a cleared off table just below the window.

"Hiya!" she said with a grin.

"You!" Zachary said with a glare. Before he could say anything else, Twilight got up from where she and Darren were still sitting at the table in the center of the room.

"Pinkie! What were you doing up there?! Were you listening in on our conversation? Were the others out there with you?"

"Oh! Well, uh, we were just-", she was interupted by a loud shout, followed by a multi-hued blur flying through the window and stopping in front of Zachary.

"Put her down!" Rainbow Dash shouted. Zachary was about to respond when the door to the basement burst open and Applejack rushed in, followed by Rarity who had Spike on her back. Fluttershy came in soon after and Dogmeat immediately shot up from his spot and went to her and she began rubbing his head and belly. This earned Dogmeat a glare from Zachary.

"Hold on Pinkie" Applejack said as she, Rarity, and Spike rushed by Twilight and Darren towards Zachary. Zachary's free hand went to the pistol at his side, Rarity's horn began to glow, and Applejack and Rainbow Dash spun, as if to buck him.

"STOOOOOP!" They all froze at the shout that came from Twilight. She looked absolutely furious, an image that was made slightly more intimidating by Darren standing over her with a similar glare and a hand on his sword. "We just went through all this and we are not doing it again," Twilight shouted, "Zachary, drop Pinkie right now! The rest of you, back away from him very slowly." Rather than face an angry Twilight, they all complied. Zachary dropped the pink mare, who landed on her fluffy mane with an odd squeeking noise. She got up with a bounce and she, along with Rarity, Applejack, and Rainbow Dash, backed away from him as he jumped down off the table.

"Very good," the lavender unicorn said, "Now will you all please take a seat..." The five mares and Spike did as they were told and took their old seats, with Dogmeat following Fluttershy to hers, tail wagging all the way. Darren sat back down when they were all there. Zachary remained standing and whistled to Dogmeat, who reluctantly padded over to him after giving Fluttershy a lick to the face.

"I think I'll stay standing, thank you." The human said curtly. Twilight nodded in acknowledgement and turned back to the others.

"Now what exactly were you all doing up there?" Twilight asked them all with a serious look, " You were trying to listen in, weren't you." It was a statement, not a question, and her friends all nodded their heads ashamedly. "You're all not going to be satisfied until I tell you what's going on, are you." Another statement and another round of nodding heads. This time the nods were a little less ashamed. Twilight gave a sigh of acceptance, "Very well then. I had hoped that I wouldn't have to tell you so soon, if at all, but I suppose that I must. First, how much have you all heard already?"

"Oh, nothing much," Pinkie Pie started out, "Just something about different worlds and how Mr. Grumpy-pants over there and his friend aren't from ours." she said, gesturing first towards Zachary and then towards Darren.

"We're not friends," Zachary said, "I don't even know him." The group ignored him and listened as Twilight replied to Pinkie's statement.

"Well, ok then. I suppose I can continue from where I left off." Twilight lit her horn and the crystal in the center of their table began to glow once more, the image of the map taking up the table again, "I was just giving our guests a basic overview of our world. Now, outside of Equestria lies the Crystal Empire, ruled by Princess Mi Amore Cadenza and my own brother Shining Armor."

"Oh, come on!" Zachary said incredulously with a wave of his hand, "Someone named their kid 'Shining Armor'? What the Hell kind of society is this?" This earned him a glare from Twilight and the other ponies.

"Shut up and listen." Darren replied. Twilight nodded to Darren in thanks and a blue border formed around a mountain range and the frozen tundra beyond it; the encompassed area was to the north of Equestria.

"Moving on, also outside of Equestria lie our allies, the Gryphons," The magical map shifted once to the west and a large red mountain range was surrounded in a yellow border, "And the Minotaurs." It shifted farther south from the mountain range and and an area of arid plains was surrounded with a purple border. "Farther south from Equestria," Twilight continued, "lies the badlands, where a race called the 'Changelings' reside." The map shifted back to its original position and then shifted south to show an area of dry deserts and rocky badlands that looked eerily similar to the Mojave from Darren's perspective. It became surrounded in a sickly green border.

"Also residing in the badlands," Twilight said, "are the majority of Equis' dragon population." The map shifted slightly east from the green border to show a mountain range forming a strange bowl shape. "The final race you need to know are the 'Diamond Dogs'."

"_Diamond Dogs_?" Zachary said questioningly, "Sounds like a bad pre-war music band."

"Hush now, let Twilight speak!" Rarity said irrately. Zachary glared at her and she glared right back.

Twilight ignored the two of them and continued her lecture, "Now the Diamond Dogs have no true nation of their own. They are a tribal culture and live on other nations soil," The map shifted one final time to rest once more on Equestria, where no less than ten little black dots appeared scattered across the red bordered area, "And there are ten known Diamond Dog tribes scattered across Equestria alone." Twilight finished and released her magical hold on the image, allowing it to recede back into the crystal.

"Well, that was an interesting, and oddly mythologically centered, lesson. But it still doesn't answer our original question," Zachary said, walking over to finally take a seat by Darren, "_Why_ did you bring us here?"

"I agree," Darren said with a nod, "It's good to know something about _where_ we are, but I'd still like to know _why_ we're here..."

"Yeah! We all wanna know why ya brought 'em here too!" Applejack cut in. Her statement was met with nods of agreement from the other mares.

"I was getting to that!" Twilight said in exasperation. Twilight took a deep breath and looked at her friends hesitantly before turning to the humans and saying, "Equestria and our allies live in relative peace and harmony. The ponies of Equestria are happy and well cared for by our rulers, Celestia and Luna. Our fellow ponies are well educated, usualy well employed, and there are very few dangers that they have to deal with. Rarely do we have to deal with weather related disasters because Pegasi like Rainbow Dash here moniter and control the weather. And we have peace with our neighbors and war is non-existent here."

"In other words," Zachary said, "The opposite of our world." This earned him some curious glances from the other mares and a cringe from Twilight before she continued.

"Well... Yes, the opposite of your world."

"Ok, I'm still waiting to hear a problem here." Darren replied.

"Of course," Twilight said with a sad sigh, "And here's the part that I didn't wish to discuss in front of my friends. Well, no turning back now." She cleared her throat and continued, "This peace I have described, this contentment, this lack of danger... Is an illusion, and a very fragile one at that."

"What? What do you mean, 'It's an illusion'?" Rainbow Dash said, to a chorus of agreements from the others.

"I mean just that. Oh, where do I begin?" With another sigh, Twilight said, "I suppose I began to come to this realization soon after the Equestria Games." She stood from her seat and began to pace around the room as she spoke, "A few days after they ended, I decided to take a trip to Canterlot. There were some books in the Canterlot library that I wished to look for to complete a set of obscure texts on the Crystal Ponies. While I was there I decided to visit Princess Celestia, and that's when I recieve my first look throught the illusion of peace."

She moved back closer to the table and everyone's eyes followed her as she talked, "I arrived to find the area outside of the throne room in absolute chaos."

Darren spoke up once more and said, "Ok, so somebody wasn't satisfied with your leader's actions. That really can't be a new thing."

"It's _not_ a new thing," Twilight replied, "Though I still didn't know that at the time. As it would later turn out, ponies among the nobility have spoken out against her before, but they have always been calmed down and dealt with peacefully. No, this was new. This group of nobles was out of control. Not only were many of them raging at the princesses, but many were many of them were at each other's throats as well. The guards almost had to forcibly disperse them so that I could get through."

"Is this story going anywhere anytime soon?" Zachary interupted. He was promtly rewarded for this interuption with a slap across the back of the head by Darren.

"Stop interupting." The older wastelander said, "Did your mother never teach you any manners?" Zachary glared at him, but remained silent and allowed Twilight to continue.

Twilight did her best to ignore the interuption, as well as the glares now shooting between the humans and her friends as she went on, "Naturally, I felt a need to investigate the issue when I was allowed in to see Celestia. Immediately I asked her what all of that commotion had been about. Her only response was that some of the nobles were unsatisfied with some of the decisions she'd made lately. I tried to get her to explain it to me a bit more, but she evaded every question and kept changing the subject. So, later that day, I did some digging.

"I asked around the palace about the current situation in Canterlot. I asked guards, palace staff, and I even approached a handful of nobles I was familiar with and first thing that I learned was this. The ponies of Canterlot have become devided. Several major political parties have formed, centering around the nobles and supported by the commoners. There are at least four major parties that have formed and, beyond their current views on individual issues, they seem to center around the support of one Princess or the other.

"Well," Twilight continued with a nod, "The first and largest of the parties are the 'Celestians' as they call themselves. They believe that Celestia was too quick to forgive Luna upon her return. Most Celestians believe that Luna should have her power limited and that she be given some form of penance, while the there are some radical Celestians wish for her removal enirely. The second group are the 'Lunies'. The term started out as a derogatory statement by Celestians towards supporters of princess Luna. It comes from the term "You're a luny", but Luna's supporters now bear the title proudly. They believe that Celestia holds too much power and are annoyed that, from their point of view, she doesn't seem to take the politics of Equestria seriously. Many of them believe that Celestia's treatment of Luna over an issue that occured one thousand years ago was too harsh and they see great leadership potential Princess Luna. Most Lunies call for a reduction of Celestia's power and some radicals call for her removal.

"The third group calls themselves the 'Diarchists' and their original goal was to oppose the Lunies and Celestians. They support an equal balance of power between the princesses while many Lunies and Celestians wish to maintain the 'social hierarchy' created by the noble class, but since their original formation the Diarchists have gathered many prominent commoners and have developed a wish for a more equal society. Neither of the princesses publicly support either of these groups but neither do they publicly denounce them. The fourth, and smallest, party that has formed in recent days call themselves 'Bluebloods'. The 'Bluebloods' are supporters of Princess Celestia's nephew, a stallion named Prince Blueblood. They believe that the Princesses have lived and ruled long enough. They think it's time for their 'heir' Blueblood to assume what they believe to be his rightful place. The 'Bluebloods' mostly consist of pompous and greedy nobles with no other goals than furthering their own power. Blueblood all but publicly endorses this party." Twilight paused a moment to take a breath before continuing.

"Sounds just a little bit like Vegas was when I first wound up there," Darren said during her pause.

"Oh? Is this 'Vegas' where you're from?" Rarity asked with a raised eyebrow, "What was it like?"

"Everyone wanted a piece of it. A group called the N.C.R., or New California Republic, was fighting over the area with a group called Ceasar's Legion while, behind the scenes, an asshole called Mr. House was manipulating both groups, as well as all the other groups in the area. The problem was, none of them really seemed to care what happened to the _people_ in the area. All they really wanted was the land and its resources and the people were caught in the middle. But, you see, I don't really take kindly to people like that, so I killed-"

"Darren, I think that that is a story for another time!" Twilight cried out frantically, her eyes widening in horror when she realised what story he was about to tell them. Her friends were most definitely _not_ ready for that kind of story. They barely seemed to be tolerating the humans' presence as it was. "Why don't I just continue with my explanation?" Darren nodded in agreement and Twilight continued to speak, "Good. Now, these groups are becoming more and more vocal and there have even been one or two small riots started in some districts of Canterlot."

"What?! There have actually been riots?!" Rainbow Dash shouted, "Why haven't _we_ heard about them?"

"Once again, I will get to that _in a minute_. There's alot of information to go over here. As I was saying, there have even been one or two riots. But these groups and the trouble they could cause aren't even the biggest issue. After a little more digging, I discovered some of the issues that these groups are upset about. The first and simplest is one close to home for me and my friends." she says, gesturing to the other ponies, "On the map, you may have noticed the large forest next to Ponyville. That would be the Everfree Forest. The nobles are worried about the increasing number of wild monsters living there and frankly so am I, after doing my own little bit of research. There has been an increase in the number of reports of sightings of creatures like hydras and manticores."

"And what are those?" Darren asked. The reply came from Zachary rather than Twilight.

"Hydras and manticores," the Wanderer said, "Are mythical monsters and by all descriptions I would say they're worse than deathclaws. They are creatures that aren't supposed to exist. Much like talking ponies," he finished with an odd glare towards Fluttershy and then Pinkie Pie.

"Well, yes," Twilight says to the human, "In _your_ world they aren't supposed to exist. But that's not the point. Many amongst the nobility are worried that, if the number of monsters keep increasing, then eventually they will spill out of the forest and into populated areas like Ponyville. And that's not even the largest issue. That would be our relations with some of our neighbors. In recent years, some of the other nations have become increasingly hostile towards Equestria. In fact, it wasn't more that two years ago that the Changelings actually tried to invade Canterlot. Luckily we were able to repel them, but attempts to repair relations with them haven't even begun and, again, Celestia seems to be ignoring the issues rather than address them. And that's where you two come in. You have both dealt with these kinds of problems before. If anyone can open Celestia's eyes to the problems and help us prevent them from escalating, it's you two. And so I ask you, will you two noble warriors aid us in our time of need?" She finished with eyes wide and pleading, yet hopeful.

This look of hope was then decisively squashed by Zachary's answer, "No."


End file.
